I was supposed to have written this yesterday, but today is not yesterday. Today is today and that’s rad. Today I get to say yes to being a disciple of Jesus once more, without apathy and confusion… today. Today, about 30 minutes ago actually, I was watching this TV show about Jesus called The Chosen while chopping potatoes for dinner when a scene where Jesus asks Peter and Andrew to follow him came on. For some reason I started weeping, to the point of potato chopping ineptitude. I get to follow Jesus regardless of my overarching, general ineptitude at life! I get to follow the kindest, most loving, most righteous dude/God that walked the Earth! And not only up mountains with fantastic views but in gnarly, gross valleys too. Right now I’m kind of in one of these said valleys because last week we had an outreach team of 18 people here at the house and I’m an extrovert, so it was spectacular, but now we have no team… sad. That week was a mountain of mountains. Last week was one of those drawn out epiphanies where God says “this right here… you’re made for this”. I had the pleasure of leading half of the team while we painted our house for two days and then did outreach for another two, and I loved nearly every second of it despite the tagalong fatigue. I was also in charge of 13 guys transporting mattresses a block away to sleep at a school with no electricity some days and no water others, and it was a joy. That James 1:2 kind of joy to be specific, struggle bus with no AC, no seatbelts, and wooden benches headed towards Jesus’ crib kind of joy. I had the pleasure of befriending new people in love with Yeshua, and I had the pleasure of going out into the neighborhood and spreading the love of Christ and inviting people into our home for small groups; I had the pleasure to pray for healing over those bedridden at a nearby hospital and, I had the pleasure to ascend a mountain with these new friends to see a natural wonder of Haiti. I also saw an owl!
But that was last week, not today. What am I doing today? Making dinner for my YWAM family, doing some projects around the yard and writing this blog post. In comparison to last week, this sounds paltry and mundane, but it’s not. I also am reading Daniel, WOW, Daniel is *chef’s kiss* bellissimo! I also get to pray and peel onions with the Holy Spirit in my chest, so this is not mundane; this is not paltry nor is it a meager portion of life. This is beautiful and I don’t want to miss this week because my head is in last week. I want to say “Thank You Jesus, you friend o’ mine for being here with me for all time”!
Below is a poem, A poem that I wrote!
sometimes you struggle to live where you live home is an inaccessible sentiment the house is a shell of belonging and you’re detached your pillow likes to tell you you’re just visiting your internal clock wishes it’d click faster your dreams drown out your now they drown you too
other times you bloom bear fruit sweeter than poryè it seems right now you’re closer to The Groom but He was here the whole time He was here
He graced you with a smile and a laugh more than one really showed you joy, busted open the lapse